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It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
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Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they\'re eating sandwiches.
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If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
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I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
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Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
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It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
Love is the answer - but while you\'re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
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Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
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A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
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The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
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Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
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I\'ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I\'ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
Emulate your heros, but don\'t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
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Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
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Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
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Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
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Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
The truth is more important than the facts.
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If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
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I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
I\'d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
They couldn\'t hit an elephant at this dist--
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
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Silence is argument carried out by other means.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
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A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
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If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
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I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
O\'Toole\'s Corollary of Finagle\'s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
It\'s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Once you\'ve written TBicycle, you never forget how.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
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If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
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You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you\'ll be afraid to cough.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
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The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, \'cause if they couldn\'t, they\'d have to wake up to the fact that life\'s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can\'t seem to keep up is they\'re a bunch of misfits and losers.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
I don\'t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
I\'ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
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Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Always go to other people\'s funerals, otherwise they won\'t come to yours.
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Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
I don\'t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
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There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
Don\'t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I\'ve never tried before.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you\'ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn\'t your biggest problem.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
I think \'Hail to the Chief\' has a nice ring to it.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
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Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:26
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